I switched the oil paint I was using to Rembrandt and I cannot even begin to express the difference it is already making in my painting. For the first time in a while now I can hardly wait to get to the easel painting is so much fun!

Kim Garfield, an amazing artist herself sent me something in an email describing my work and I was so struck by how perceptive she was about what I paint. It is very exciting to me when people and especially other artists are able to see beyond the surface of what I create. Anyway what she said was: "There is an earnestness emitting from your paintings. It's difficult to explain. And though you paint whimsical, almost nostalgic subject matter, there prevails a sense of loss.....a wish almost, that life as depicted in your paintings was the reality, not the unattained ideal." Kim, I thoroughly enjoyed lunch with you the other day. Thank you for the things you said... I needed to hear them more than you will know.

My friends at The Bridge academy asked me to be a guest speaker next Friday, November 21st. I will be addressing the students but it is open to anyone who would like to attend. I will be talking about my own path as an artist, things I have learned, and offering my advice and insight into pursuing a career as a professional artist. The Bridge is located in Provo and I will be speaking at 6 pm. For the exact address click on my link to the Bridge website under my artist friends.

This painting is five years old, but I wanted to post it to show you how I have evolved. There are many elements of my (now evolved) style and I find it interesting to remember where I came from. I was at a good friends studio yesterday and we had a very poignant conversation about creativity and criticism. Lately I have found myself comparing my art to others and if I allowed it to continue it would be the very death of me. We were talking about how important it is NOT to criticize your own and others art. The reason I posted this painting is because there is a part of me that could rip it to shreds. I cannot help but appreciate that I let myself go through this stage. As an artist my learning and "practice" is documented with each new painting. On the other hand a master pianist for example, also becomes great by practice but what we hear is the end result sometimes forgetting... all the time, all the mistakes that got them to that place. As you already know two of my favorite artists are my girls Aleah who is 9 and Eve who is 7. There is such a freedom and freshness in their drawings that can only come through their own innocence. A quality that I have had to fight to reclaim and still struggle to hold on to. I know I have quoted this many times but feel like it is so appropriate here. Julia Cameron said "Remember by being willing to be a bad artist, you have a chance over time to be an artist, and perhaps, over time, a very good one."

Here is why I feel no threat opening up and sharing all that I can with other aspiring artists... this career is tough! We need all the encouragement we can get. This profession has a way of weeding out those who are anything less than determined to stick it out through the valleys. In no way am I trying to complain or be ungrateful for what I have. However, I understand that there are those of you who want to be artists yourselves and that from the outside looking in it could appear as if "things just happen for some artists, while others "just don't seem to make it". While there are many factors that add to the reality of that, my message to you is this: Pursuing a career as an artist is tough, perhaps one of the toughest things you will ever do. For one because you will have to believe in yourself long before anyone else will. I remember reading The Artist's Way by Julia Cameron and her talking about first calling yourself an artist and then becoming one. Something which I began doing many years ago. Like anyone else I felt like I should "earn" the title by proving my worth by selling paintings, or illustrating a children's book but I decided to take the leap of faith and claim my place as an "Artist". The only reason I am producing the work that I am today is because I didn't give up years ago when I wasn't putting out anywhere near the quality of work that I am now able to create. I am older, a little wiser, and have painted for thousands of hours since then... but my soul, my desire to create things of beauty remains the same. Don't give up! Sometimes I can't believe that I didn't, and sometimes I still want to... but you need to know that yes, the journey really is this hard, worth it, but hard!

One of my closest friends had to put her dog to sleep on Friday. His name was Emmet and he was a Golden Retriever, he was one of those dogs that felt like a human. This friend lives right down the street from me and my girls and I were all close to Emmet. The other day we went to say goodbye and when I bent down to give him a kiss there was a puddle of tears by him from our mailman who had just said goodbye and cried too. My girls and I cried all the way up our street from her house to ours. This dog really was such an angel and really sort of had a social life all of his own independant of his family. I have known him since I moved in my house six years ago... funny how you always just think everyone you love will always be there. We take so much for granted. I forget how precious life is. I feel like my life is moving so fast like I am so busy cleaning and working and just doing every crazy thing I feel like I have to do in order to keep from sinking in my own life. Really, life is all about love... and how little attention we give it sometimes. I am grateful for the time I had with Emmet. I hate letting go but can't help but be grateful for this sweet dog's life and the reminder of how precious life truly is.

Speaking of art friends... two weeks ago I had a chance to attend the party for the opening of

The Bridge Academy of Art. My friends and four of the best artists I know Jeff Hein, Justin Taylor, Sean Diediker and Ben Mcpherson started an art school. I have had the chance to attend a few things at the school and have been very impressed with what these guys are creating. One of the oppurtunities I found extremely educational and inspiring was when they had Joseph Manqueros come and speak. Joseph is the owner of Wendt Gallery which represents Jeff Hein. I couldn't help but just love Joseph, he is one of the most positive people I have ever heard speak. For those of you who are familiar with Wendt will see why it came as no surprise to me after meeting Joseph and his wife Serina that they are so successful and literally represents some of the best artists in the country. One of the most important points Joseph made while speaking was in reference to credibility. Training is important. Whether that is through an art school, a University, or studying under another artist. My point is this is exactly the kind of experience The Bridge is bringing its students. I wish I would have had something like this 10 years ago. For those of you serious about becoming a working artist and who are looking for some training...check out The Bridge (their link is under my friends list).

Last Friday I had the opportunity to attend a show for Glen Edwards, who was my Illustration professor at Utah State years ago. It was so strange to stand in the gallery with him as well as some of his colleagues and other past students. Many who I have been familiar with for years. I remember being a freshman at Utah State and feeling pretty much invisible to Glen. At the time I remember wanting his attention and approval so bad. I couldn't help but feel like I was experiencing some sort of time travel, being in his and these other artists presence over 14 years later. There is really no way to describe what that experience was like for me. The biggest change for me was that I felt confident.
I have been thinking a lot about confidence lately, what creates it, and why I have it now as an artist and why at one point I didn't. I realized that for me it has a lot to do with experience. I know what it is like to be with other artists who are speaking about things I feel clueless about and I know what it is like to be a full part of an identical conversation. Here is one piece of advice for other artists who feel like they are on the outside wanting to be in. Get to know other artists, especially the ones you admire and who's work inspires you. Do research on them, find out when they are having shows and attend them. I have met many of my artists friends this way and there is something I have learned from each of them. Anyone has less confidence in any situation they are unfamiliar with. I contribute a great deal of my recent success to these friendships. I feel like I found my peer group. They have shared with me things that it would have taken me years of experience to learn on my own. Also I have made many connections that vary from things like who they use for framing to what their experience has been with a specific gallery.
The above images are detail shots from the 5x6 ft painting I am working on. There are three figures in this painting and it has been an interesting challenge for me to make them all work together... which I am still figuring out. I have been eating, sleeping, and breathing this painting.